musings

knowledge for love

reposted from yesdarlingido — though I’m not this exclusively, I can totally relate

APPETITE

People say they’re hungry for knowledge, and I’ve always wished I could say the same without feeling like I was lying. Sure, I love learning and what a gift it is to be both a learner and a teacher, but I have struggled with knowledge. I don’t crave it like good students do. I am hungry for love—and I’m not talking about romance. I am hungry to love you, and everyone else. I don’t always feel this way—I’m not claiming selflessness, but this is the ultimate theme driving my life. I only feel fulfilled in life when mine is actively demonstrating love. I’m starving when I’m not extending or receiving it. I am hungry for love that welcomes, engages, nurtures, and frees. And so, my desire is for a specific branch on this tree of knowledge. Knowledge with a purpose—that’s the only kind I’m after. Wisdom values knowledge, but not on the basis of itself. I’m not interested in knowledge alone. I want to grow in knowledge because as we shed ignorance, opportunities to utilize our knowledge in ways of love allow us to be a gift. And being a gift means having more to offer than a good GPA. Our external form encases heart and mind, so being a gift to this world means using both for the benefit of others. Heart—the source of compassion; mind—the source of action. Compassion is where justice and mercy collide and wisdom is learning how to balance between the two. This is a worthy pursuit.

I’m a daily seeker and gatherer of knowledge that equips me to feed a deeper hunger. I want to feed my brain to mature my heart; I want to feast on knowledge that builds my character. Maybe this is why I struggle to make time for things that don’t immediately gratify my pursuit of love. Maybe this is why I’ve been such a mediocre student all my life—struggling to care about generic knowledge that I couldn’t connect with. I’m sure if I pondered this long enough, I’d realize that all knowledge can equip me to love in some way or another, but that’s hard for me to accept when I think of the power-points and deadlines. I have a deep appetite to grow in knowledge that awakens my understanding of people’s needs, emotions, longings, fears, and struggles. I crave the knowledge that strengthens an awareness of injustice, inequality, and suffering so I can know the oppressed and stand against the oppressor. I want to know the brokenness so I can be a propelling force towards healing; I want to know truth so I can live as a banner exposing the lies. People say they’re hungry for knowledge, but be specific. What is it you want to know, and why do you want to know it? Knowledge without application is powerless. Knowledge without love is empty. Knowing without growing is worthless because it generates potential without implementing purpose or cause.

also:

“As you get older you start doing things in reverse. You start cutting people out from your life. Your Christmas list becomes practically nonexistent. You don’t need to be the first in line for everything. You take less pictures because some memories are best kept in your heart and not your hard drive. And instead of looking for love, you dig for it from within.”   — bookmarks in my life